Is Fire Goddess Spelled with Two “D”s ?

 英汉对照

When I was eight years old, I saw a movie about a mysterious island that had an erupting 1)volcano and 2)lush jungles filled with wild animals and 3)cannibals. The island was ruled by a beautiful woman called Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the Volcano. It was a terrible low budget movie, but to me, it represented the perfect life. Being chased by 4)molten 5)lava, blood thirsty animals and savages was a small price to pay for freedom. I desperately wanted to be the Fire Goddess. I wrote it on my list of things to be when I grow up, and I asked my girlfriend if Fire Goddess was spelled with two “D”s. 

Through the years, the school system did its best to mold me into a no nonsense, responsible, respectable citizen, and Tondalaya was forgotten. My parents approved of my suitable marriage and I spent the next 25 years being a good wife, eventually the mother of four, and a very respectable responsible member of society. My life was as 6)bland and boring as a bowl of 7)oatmeal. I knew exactly what to expect in the future. The children would grow up and leave home, my husband and I would grow old together, and we’d baby-sit the grandchildren.

The week I turned 50, my marriage came to a sudden end. My house, furniture and everything I’d owned was auctioned off to pay debts I didn’t even know existed. In a week I had lost my husband, my home and my parents who refused to accept a divorce in the family. I’d lost everything except my four teenage children. I had enough money to rent a cheap apartment while I looked for a job or I could use every penny I had to buy five plane tickets from Missouri to the most remote island in the world, the big island of Hawaii. Everyone said I was crazy to think I could just run off to an island and survive. They predicted I’d come crawling back in a month. Part of me was afraid they were right. 

The next day, my four children and I landed on the big island of Hawaii with less than $2,000, knowing no one in the world was going to help us. I rented an unfurnished apartment where we slept on the floor and lived on 8)cereal. I worked three jobs 9)scrubbing floors on my hands and knees, selling 10)macadamia nuts to tourists and gathering coconuts. I worked 18 hours a day and lost 30 pounds because I lived on one meal a day. I had panic attacks that left me curled into a knot on the bathroom floor shaking like a 11)shell-shocked soldier.

One night as I walked alone on the beach, I saw the red orange glow of the lava pouring out of Kilauea Volcano in the distance. I was 12)wading in the Pacific Ocean, watching the world’s most active volcano, and wasting that incredible moment, because I was 13)haunted by the past, exhausted by the present and terrified of the future. I’d almost achieved my childhood dream but hadn’t realized it, because I was focused on my burdens instead of my blessings. It was time to live my imagination not my history. Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the Volcano had finally arrived.

The next day, I quit my jobs and invested my last 14)paycheck in art supplies and began doing what I loved. I hadn’t painted a picture in 15 years, because we barely 15)scratched out a living on the farm in Missouri, and there hadn’t been money for the tubes of paint, and canvas and frames. I wondered if I could still paint or if I had forgotten how. My hands trembled the first time I picked up a brush. But before an hour had passed, I was lost in the colors spreading across the canvas in front of me. I painted pictures of old sailing ships and as soon as I started believing in myself, other people started believing in me, too. The first painting sold for $1,500 before I even had time to frame it.

The past six years have been filled with adventures. My children and I have gone swimming with 16)dolphins, watched 17)whales and hiked around the 18)crater rim of the volcano. We wake up every morning with the ocean in front of us and the volcano behind us. The dream I had more than 40 years ago is now reality. I live on an island with a continuously erupting volcano. The only animals in the jungle are wild 19)boars and 20)mongooses and there aren’t any cannibals. But often in the evening, I can hear the drums from native dancers on the beach. 

I’m free for the first time in my life. I am Tondalaya, the Fire Goddess of the Volcano, spelled with two “D”s and I’m living happily ever after.

八岁的时候，我看了一部电影：在神秘的岛屿上有一座喷发的火山和葱茏的丛林，丛林里有许多野生动物与食人族。统治岛屿的美丽女子是火山的火女神，名叫彤达拉雅。那是部糟糕的低成本电影，然而对我而言，它表现了完美的人生。受熔岩浆、嗜血动物和野人追逐是换取自由的一个小小代价。我极度渴望成为火女神。我将此列入长大之后要成为的清单中，并问女友火女神的写法是否有两个“D”。

多年过去，学校教育将我塑造成一个正统、负责、可敬的公民，我忘记了彤达拉雅。父母满意我那门当户对的婚姻，随后25年我成为一名好妻子，是四个孩子的母亲，是可敬而负责的社会一员。生活平静乏味得像碗燕麦粥。未来于我了然于胸：儿女长大、离家，与丈夫白首偕老，带养孙子孙女。

在我50岁的那个星期，婚姻突然结束了。房子、家具、我拥有的一切全给拍卖掉，用来偿还那些我从未知晓存在过的债款。一周之内我失去了丈夫、家园以及父母--他们对家里出现离婚心存抗拒。除了我四个年少的孩子，我失去了一切。我的钱够用来在找工作的同时租一所廉价公寓，或者

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